Hello Precious Friend!
The past few days I’ve not been thinking a lot about grace. Especially how showing grace helps the receiver, while judgment only proves to create shame and a stumbling block.
Two stories have been playing out in my head: The story of the spilled coffee pot, and the Pastor who shared his struggle. One brings judgment, the other grace.
Allow me to take you back a couple of decades.
Years ago we had a woman at our church who loved to throw out the old spilled coffee pot analogy anytime she heard anyone curse. She would say, “Do you know what comes out of a spilled pot of coffee? Coffee! Because that’s what the coffee pot is full of, and that spilled out of their mouth because that’s what their heart is full of!” Sometimes she would literally spill her coffee on purpose to give herself the opportunity to chastise someone. Once at lunch the poor young waitress was the victim of this lesson. The poor young girl was overwhelmed and spilled some coffee while pouring and accidentally said a curse word, she immediately apologized profusely, but rather than graciously accepting the apology this woman used it as an opportunity to chastise the waitress using the analogy and sharing that she had cursed “because it’s what her heart was full of.” She always shared these stories with great pride!
What no one knew is that I was struggling with cursing. I grew up in a household and around family friends who “cursed like sailors” as the saying goes. I no longer spoke like that on a daily basis but if I was very stressed, scared, angry or hurt, these words would fly out of my mouth! I hated it! I struggled with this because it made me feel ugly, dirty, unworthy. Surely God could not love someone with this mouth? I felt condemnation! I felt the scorn of the woman at church and other Christians. Every time she shared her spilled coffee pot story I would cringe and shrink a little. I struggled with the thought that my heart was “full of” all that cursing reflected to her. I loved the Lord so much! I read His Word, I prayed, I worshiped! Surely my heart was not filled with the old me. Yet no matter how much I tried to control my mouth, in those moments I failed. And every time I failed I was overcome with shame.
A few years later we had changed churches and our Pastor was a wonderful man who loved the Lord and held a PhD in theology. One Sunday morning he shared his struggle with cursing!! What?! How could this man who loved the Lord, who was a Pastor, who was so learned that he held a PhD struggle with cursing?!?? I listened intently as he spoke about how he couldn’t relate to an addict’s struggle, or the struggle of pornography, because those weren’t his struggles. But he could understand their struggle in light of his own struggle to control his tongue. He preached about all of our need to give our struggles to God because He was the only one who could help us! His sermon was so full of grace that it set me free from condemnation! That’s the power of grace! And it’s the power of “confessing our sins one to another” James 5:16.
Hearing that my Pastor shared my struggle took the burden off my shoulders and allowed me to let go of the struggle and give it to God. It allowed me to accept God’s grace towards me.
Awhile later I realized that I no longer struggled with cursing! I had been set free! Not through my own doing, but through my surrender! In letting go of my struggle to control my tongue and just focusing on God, He had delivered me from my bondage.
Reflecting back on the the first woman and the Pastor reminded me how grace allowed room for God to work, shame and judgment kept me hidden and trying to do it in my own strength.
And I’ve learned a few things since then.
To give grace to others. It sets people free!
To give grace to myself. It sets me free!
God can, and will, do for us what we cannot do for ourselves!
May 2022 be a year filled with Grace for you, precious friend!
And if you need prayer please leave a comment to let me know.
♥️Colleen
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