Friday, April 18, 2014

The Problem With Lies

I have so many thoughts running through my head today. My mind is racing a million miles an hour. Last night I found out that two very dear friends of mine are being lied about. My son said to me, you shouldn't worry about it Mom, people won't believe it. I said that's the problem with lies, people will believe them. People you would never imagine would believe them, will.

These thoughts have been swirling through my head a lot lately anyway, after being lied about myself recently. Sadly it's not the first time that someone, unprovoked except by their own selfish motivations, has made up lies about me. I have been thinking a lot about the effects of lies. The hearts that get broken. The people that get hurt. The wreckage that can be left behind. The lies people have told about me hurt not only me, but my children, my family. The repercussions have cost us. We have lost friendships, we have had our finances impacted, we have had our entire lives upended by people and their lies. Sometimes it's a small impact, but often it's a huge ripple effect impact. When you lie about someone you have no idea how big that ripple will grow. How many lives you might affect.

After the lies there is the hurt when no one you thought would stand up for you, does. That is truly the worst of betrayal. That the people you care about, the people you expect will have your back, don't. The people who could make things right, won't. You wonder why they won't speak the truth that they know. You wonder why you aren't valuable enough to them for them to stand up for you. You feel lost, alone, worthless, when no one stands up for you. You wonder who you can trust. You wonder who really cares. It can all be very overwhelming.

And then you realize that people won't stand up because it will cost them. It will be hard. Most people, unfortunately, will choose the easy road. But the one thing you will learn, is who you can trust, and who you can't. Because in the end, it isn't about you at all, it's about the character, or lack there of, of the liars and the people who stand by and allow them to victimize others.

I would be remiss if I didn't add that in the end, in this most recent situation, two people did stand up for me. It didn't change anything in the situation with the other people, but it changed everything for me! Thank you to Pat and Roger for daring to have the character to stand up for me. God bless you both. Your actions mean more than you will ever know.

Blessings,
Colleen