The Stuff That Life is Made Of

Not much to report today. Betty spent most of the day sleeping. A hospice aide came in and gave her a nice bath and family was of course there attending and visiting. God graciously answered our prayers to get Betty through her bath and changing without nausea or pain. The aide was of course taken with Betty and told her she was glad she got assigned Betty as a client. Betty teased that we'll see how she feels after a couple of visits. The aide assured Betty she will still be happy. 

Betty's bedside table holds a few treasured trinkets and flowers along with her water.

She didn't really eat much of anything today, but Eric and Elena fed her a tiny bit of watermelon that she asked for and some ice chips. Elena reveled in taking care of her great grandma and was delighted at the fuss Betty made over the announcement that Elena had received honor roll again this semester. When she wasn't busy playing with her uncle, her video game, her dad or taking care of Betty, Elena was devoted to loving on Sadie and carrying her around. A very poignant and touching moment of the day was Elena standing on her daddy's feet as they maneuvered around the room and I thought back to Betty talking about dancing on her big brother's feet. I was so lost in the moment I didn't get a picture snapped, but it is forever etched in my mind. 

Mary's husband Brad lovingly putting a cold compress to Betty's forehead was another very tender moment between mother in law and son in law and the love between them was obvious. In the midst of paperwork, household chores and other such obligations, every eye and ear is always attuned to the slightest movement coming from Betty, and her loved ones eagerly attend to the need of the moment. Such loving devotion in action, a true tribute to the woman Betty is and the loving character of her family. 

Even though she was asleep much of the time, she asked us to keep talking while she dozed so we happily obliged. She didn't interject as much today as she usually does, but she did rouse here and there to join in the discussion before nodding back off again. 

She woke up for a little while this evening and we chatted some. Dana shared the newspaper article that Betty received in the mail from her friend in Atlantic, Iowa and Betty asked to see the included pic. It was an effort to open her eyes each time, but we did get the chance to see those lovely eyes of hers a few times. She shared with me that she is having a wonderful day because she is in the presence of the Lord. 

I got to spend some time sharing hugs, kisses, and I love yous, sharing some whispers of endearment and her whispering to me that I am "one of her girls" among other things, almost brought me to tears. She was all smiles when I told her that I had blogged last night and she insisted that she wanted to hear every word, so Dana printed it out and I read it to her. It was a little intimidating but her smiles and laughter told me she was pleased, as did the "beautiful" she whispered when I was done. Even though when I asked her if it was all right she gave me her little half smile and said, "It'll do." I also got to spend some time just holding her hand and quietly praying for her. When Kevin came to pick me up he got his hand holding time in too. :-) Dana laughed at the fact that Betty is allowed to hold my husband's hand "because she is Betty". What can I say, a Grand Dame such as Betty Derry has earned some liberties in life! Kevin and I prayed with Betty before we left and she was resting comfortably when we left for the evening. 

Sadie was especially out of sorts today but loved the attention she got from Mary and Elena.

Betty is managing on very little medication, and not having much pain at all. A little discomfort but that seems to mostly be due to being in bed and needing to adjust positions. Other than that, everyone is hanging in there and finding their rhythm and routine. Mary and Dana have fallen into a very natural split of duties, and work well together attending to Betty's every need. It is such a blessing to watch this lovely family care for and attend to their matriarch with such love and devotion to her and to each other. In this crazy, mixed up world we live in, the Derry family is a reminder of the stuff of which life is truly made. 

I want to remind us all today that tomorrow is promised to no one, so let's keep our eyes focused on the truth of what is important in life. Loving the Lord with all our heart and loving one another! Make time to love someone special today. 

Blessings,

Colleen

Tribute Tuesday ~ Betty Derry

The idea for this Tribute Tuesday has been running around my mind for months now, however the task seemed overwhelming so I kept putting it off. Being the perfectionist that I am, I struggle to let go of my fear of imperfection and just put pen to paper, or type to blog as it were. However, as we find that time waits for no man, or blog, I must lay down my perfectionist tendencies and write this blog. 

The idea of Tribute Tuesday came about as I was thanking God for some of the amazing women He has placed in my life. These women I am speaking of are not family members, although at some point I may move on to the amazing family members as well. But for now, they are the women God brought into my life to inspire and teach me. 

I did have amazing women in my life already. My grandmother, my mother, my mother-in-law, they were amazing women who gave me so much in life. So much love, so much wisdom, and when each of them passed the void they left was heartbreaking. But the one thing they didn't give me, either because they were taken too soon, or for other reasons, was showing me how to live life after a certain age. That is where these women come in to the picture. 

God began to bring women into my life that were embracing life and making the most of their golden years. These women became my adopted grandmothers and mothers, although they didn't know it. They became my mentors. My inspiration. I had contemplated doing this series in the order they arrived in my life, however something has happened to change that. My very dear friend, adopted grandmother, mentor, heroine, Betty, has just received the news that she will be placed on hospice care tomorrow. Suddenly writing her tribute became urgent. Not because she doesn't know how I feel about her, she does. The one thing I have learned from losing too many loved ones too early is to let people know how much I love them. But because I wanted to share with others how special she is to me, and to pay proper tribute to her while she could still enjoy it. 

Betty and I

Betty has known my husband's family for many years. Her and her family attended the same church as my husband while he was growing up. She worked in the office, the preschool, volunteered at church, the PTA and more. When I met Betty it was shortly before she lost her beloved husband. My husband and I, along with our children, had begun to attend the church he went to as a child and Betty was still there with her husband. I won't go into details, but the time came for us to leave the church under very distressful circumstances and we lost contact with most of our church family. A few years later we were reunited with Betty and her daughters at a mutual friend's birthday celebration and found that the same had happened to them. We all shared our sorrow and stories and bonded. Another few years passed and Betty and I became friends on Facebook. I began to learn a lot more about Betty and she became one of the amazing ladies of my life story! 

After losing her husband, her church of more than 30 years, and many of their friends from that time period, she was not about to sit around and feel sorry for herself! Not Betty! She is a feisty, funny, Grand Dame with dashed dreams of stardom but on the same level of grandeur as her heroines, Elizabeth Taylor, Debbie Reynolds and Shirley Temple, whom she had dreamed of becoming best friends with when she moved to California as a young bride many years ago. I assure you, it was Shirley's loss that this never occurred! 

As a feisty octogenarian rivaling any of the famed Golden Girls, she began writing a blog about her life as a country gal turned city woman. Telling enthralling stories with style and humor about life in her small Iowa hometown. I often found myself on the edge of my seat completely engrossed in her stories about friends and family and a simpler life. Let me tell you, few can turn a phrase as well as my friend Betty! She began her blog with the goal of leaving a legacy for her family members, but she left so much more than that! And her story didn't end there. 

Betty has continued her volunteer work, continued to bowl regularly in a league until recently and kept in touch with many family and friends old and new. She is a celebrity of sorts among family and friends who delight in her stories and her company. She lights up a gathering like nobody's business! She has continued to keep family and friends up to date on the going's on of her hometown, visiting for reunions and writing about her travels. She had a few things published, much to her delight and the delight of her devoted followers, of which I count myself chief!

That all sounds like quite the full life of a Golden Girl in her eighties, doesn't it? Oh, but Betty wasn't about to rest on her laurels, there was still living to do and opportunities to grab hold of! At the tender age of 86 Betty saw that the editor of her local paper was looking for local bloggers and so she contacted him and started that very day! After many years of writing for her high school paper, PTA, her blog and various other endeavors, Betty was beginning a whole new career as a published blogger for her local newspaper when others her age were sitting in their rockers watching soaps. 

Now you are beginning to get a picture of why Betty is such an inspiration to me! She has truly wrung every ounce out of life. Enjoying the moment. Embracing each season of her life. Loving her family, her friends. Enjoying the brazeness that one can get away with when one reaches a certain age, such as flirting with the cute men that cross one's path. She has fully embraced the "Grand Dameness" of her legendary heroines, all the while carrying herself with the class befitting a woman heralding from the Midwest of "a certain age". 

You thought I was kidding about the flirting, but here she is holding hands with the groom. Oh the things you can get away with when you're Betty!

Did all her dreams come true? No. She never did become best friends with Shirley Temple. She never did get the opportunity to grace the silver screen. I don't believe she ever did hear back from Bryan Cranston. But she DID make the most of what she was given. She did busy herself doing good as women her age are admonished in the Bible to do. She did not become a busybody flitting about. She did make her family and friends very proud of her. She enriches our lives every day with her humor, her wisdom, her bravery, her zest for life! 

Betty and I also shared some things that she might not even be aware of. I also had dreams of becoming an actress and gracing the silver screen, also dreamed of being a writer. We shared a love of some of the same old movies and their stars, of the glamour of the golden days of Hollywood. We laughed about the fact that while she was a country gal who had become a city woman, I was a city gal that had become a country woman. We shared words of encouragement, I think she thought I was encouraging her, but she was encouraging me just as much and teaching me so much as well. 

Our last visit, so far, was at the wedding of a mutual friend, who you will also one day read about here on Tribute Tuesday. We sat together, with my husband, her daughters and some other longtime friends and we laughed and enjoyed ourselves, we held hands, shared hugs, and accompanied each other to the ladies room as we women are known to do, her daughters laughed at us and our mutual admiration, they teased us good naturedly and pretended to be jealous, we all had a grand time celebrating Jim and Peggy and enjoying one another's company, and I will always cherish those memories! As I will cherish our conversations on Facebook. I don't know how much time she has left with us, but I do know that even now she is teaching her loved ones lessons on bravery, on strength, on grace, on facing life no matter what comes your way! 

I do think our table had more fun than any other at the reception and that was mostly because Betty was at the center of it! 

My dear friend has just began a new adventure, her words not mine, as she hadn't been feeling well for awhile and after much testing has just been diagnosed with adenocarcinoma and will begin hospice care today. She is lovingly surrounded by her family and facing this latest "adventure" with her usual courage, strength and grace. Comforting those around her and giving them the strength they don't find within themselves right now. This is my dear friend Betty. Facing that which life gives out and making the most of life. 

My mere words are so sadly inadequate to pay tribute to such an amazing woman who has given me so much through her friendship and just living her life. She never set out to be a hero, she never set out to be my mentor, she simply lived her life in a heroic way and taught me so much in the process! She gave me gifts I can never repay. My love for her is overwhelming and I am brokenhearted at the thought of a day when I will sign in to Facebook and my cherished friend won't be there with new stories or encouragement. But I will try to take a page out of her book and cherish what she gave me. I will forever be grateful for our friendship and the love she freely gave me these past years. 

And I will pursue my writing as I promised her I would. I may never turn a phrase with the style and wit of my dear friend Betty, but I will give it my all. I will strive to put down my fears, my perfectionism and my self doubt, and do my mentor proud. 

I love you, Betty! I believe you know how special you are to me, you are a treasure, and a gem and I can never say thank you enough for making time for me in your life. 

I am forever grateful that you chose to get on that "Pony Express" train 55 years ago to leave Atlantic, Iowa and risk life and limb and the possibility of being taken into captivity, to follow your groom to California, where some 35 years later we would chance to meet. 

I hope to get to spend some more time with you as you are on this journey, but as we never know what tomorrow holds, I just had to say, I love you!! 

Blessings,

Colleen

If you would like to read Betty's blog you can find her original blog here:

http://www.countrygalcitywoman.blogspot.com

and her professional blog at

http://www.arcadiapatch.com

I'm linking to these link ups:

WholeHearted Home

http://judithwholeheartedhome.com/

The Time Warp Wife


A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/

Kasey at Walking Redeemed