THE LAST TIME

Everytime I read this it brings tears to my eyes. I have always tried to encourage moms who are in the thick of things with little ones that this too shall pass and truly in the blink of an eye. But this poem states it so well, such a perfect reminder to truly embrace each season, each moment. I know some days feel overwhelming. I know some days it seems impossible to hang on one more moment in the midst of the trials and turmoil that little ones can bring. But in the midst of the trying times, we must have something to hold onto, something to help us keep perspective that our children are little for such a short time and that one day we will miss this. We will long for just a moment of it back. One day there will be silence and no more messes and we will wish to turn the clock back, but we won't be able to. So if you find yourself in the midst of the turmoil, overwhelmed, take a moment to think on this and remember, that this too shall pass.

I remember when my children were young all my "God stories" started with, I was in the shower and... the shower was my prayer closet. It is where I took very quick showers, but spent that time not only letting the water wash over me, but letting His Spirit wash over me. It is where I sang to the Lord, where I cried out to Him to sustain me, to strengthen me, to give me wisdom, or whatever my need was that day. It was a very precious and coveted time. I pray you will look to the Lord to sustain you and provide whatever it is you need today.

And I hope that you will find that this poem is a great reminder to make the most of each day because there will always be, a last time.

THE LAST TIME 

        ~Author Unknown 

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms you will never be the same

You might long for the person you were before 

When you had freedom and time

And nothing in particular to worry about

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before

Days will run into days that are exactly the same

Full of feedings and burping

Nappy changes and crying

Whining and fighting

Naps or a lack of naps

It might seem like a never-ending cycle

But don’t forget…

There is a last time for everything

There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time

They will fall asleep on you after a long day

And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down 

And never pick them up that way again

You will scrub their hair in the bath for one last time 

And from that day on they will want to bathe alone

They will hold your hand to cross the road 

Then will never reach for it again

They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles

And it will be the last night you ever wake to this

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus” and do all the actions

Then never sing them that song again

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate 

The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone

You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face

They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time 

Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realise.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.

For one last time.

Sweet Sixteen

This has been a big week around here. Our youngest just turned 16. What a huge milestone for her! And for us. I'm not quite sure how it is that our baby is a very lovely young lady of sixteen.


I'm not sure how we are almost at the finish line of this journey called parenting when it seems that we only began yesterday. Of course we never stop being parents, but we do stop parenting. At least if we do it right. As the parents of two adults and two almost adults, we have had to redefine our roles as parents. It was quite an adjustment at first. I remember thinking with our first child, how do I stop parenting? Thankfully I have two amazing young adult children who helped me figure it out and let me know when I was stepping over the new line in our relationship. It's a strange thing that this relationship with our children is in almost constant flux.


I can still remember the feelings of holding our first daughter in my arms, the awe and wonder of realizing that I was a mother and that this beautiful bright eyed baby was my daughter! My DAUGHTER! I could hardly believe it the first time those words came out of my mouth. I remember the joy that jumped inside me when I said it the first time. It struck me as soon as she was born that she was a real person, not just a baby like other children, but an honest to goodness person with a personality all her own as soon as she emerged into this world!


I remember like it was the other day worrying, how in the world I could possibly love a second child as much as I loved our first, and yet the instant they put him in my arms I was flooded with love for him! This adorable, insatiable baby had captured another part of my heart that I didn't even know was there. How was it possible that there could be an equal amount of love for them both? How could one person possibly contain so much love? And yet, there it was, a complete love that neither took away from the love of my first born nor was it lessened by the immensity of my love for his older sister.


And yet, even after experiencing it, I found myself once again wondering with our third child, how will I possibly love another child as much as I do the first two? I experienced the miracle of that expanding love again when they placed that wonderful, exuberant boy in my arms. But somehow, again with our fourth, our baby, there I was wondering, can I possibly have enough love to love another child as much as the first three? And then there she was, a beautiful, joyful baby girl who proved that there is no limit to the expansion of love in a mother's heart. Each time I was awed by the miracle that is a parent's love.


Interestingly each of our children is so very unique and yet they all share some wonderful traits. They are all strong willed, I think they each came out of the womb with a very strong set of opinions! lol They are all curious, funny, compassionate, intelligent, generous people. I can't believe how unbelievably lucky I am to have been the one God chose to be their mother! What could I have possibly done to deserve such an honor? None of our children are perfect, thankfully because their mother certainly isn't! But they are amazing people and I not only love them, I truly enjoy them. I enjoy being their friend and nurturing that relationship as they grow. Which brings me back to the state of almost constant flux I mentioned before.


Whew! There is nothing more exasperating than trying to learn to parent a child at all the different stages of life! Any mom knows this. Just as you're getting used to answering the constant demands of an infant they turn around and become self sufficient toddlers who want to do everything on their own! No matter that everything they do comes with a huge mess, they want to do it themselves! And it doesn't get any easier as they grow. It seems that just as soon as you figure out one stage it comes to an end and a new one begins! lol And then suddenly, it seems in the blink of an eye, they are adults and now you have to learn how to let go of all you've spent the last couple of decades learning to do. But the joys so far outweigh the frustrations! Yes, they do. In the end it balances out, trust me. lol!


However, I have to say that I am facing this time with a startling melancholy. I get misty each time I see our "baby" come down stairs with her hair neatly groomed and the poise and style of an elegant young lady. Literally just a few weeks ago she just wanted to be a tomboy and couldn't care less about the rat's nest that was festering in the back of her hair! She didn't even have time to wash her face let alone put a touch of makeup on it as she does each day now. And though as I did with each of her siblings before her, I am bursting with pride at watching her blossom, I find myself fighting tears a lot too. I'm struggling to embrace this new phase of life.


Im addition to our youngest turning 16, our third child turned 17 and is a senior in high school. I'm not ready for it to be over. I don't really want this to be our last year homeschooling our youngest son. I know God will give me what I need to get through this, but just for today I am sad that I can almost see the finish line in the distance. I want the journey to last a little longer.
Recently we were discussing the fact that our homeschooling time was coming to an end and he said to me, "Well Mom, you could always adopt more kids and homeschool them." And as I said to him, it's not that I just want to keep homeschooling, it's that I want to keep homeschooling you guys! It's not that I just want to keep being a mom to children, it's that I want to keep my children a little longer.


Wow, this certainly didn't turn out to be the post it started out to be. Time, it's an interesting thing. I know God knows what He is doing, but no matter how many times I do it, I find that I just don't understand how it is that you spend every single day of your life with someone being such a huge part of your life and you being such an important part of their's and then, quite suddenly it seems, you're supposed to let go as they go off and make a new life that simply doesn't revolve around you anymore. I am sure that when this part of the journey ends God will supply me with the strength I need to move on to the next stage of life, but at this moment I wish I could just stop time for a little while and hold my babies close.


Be Blessed!